DON’t TALK BACK (FOR PARENTS)

Instead of discouraging ‘back talk’ it is actually better to foster more positive ways of communicating.

“Wow’ you seem really angry”! - make an empathic comment

“I wonder what’s just happened to upset you so much?” - make statement from a position of wonder.

“Do you want to take a bit of a time-out and then we can talk, or do you think we should put this on the family agenda? - offering two approaches to dealing with frustration with a view to problem-solving.

“I get you are really angry now, I have some time, would you like to tell me about it?” Offering a listening ear and authentic connection.

“I am sure we are going to work this out. Sometimes resolving disagreements take time - and no matter what I always love you. Offering perspective, the idea that things take time, and no sense of rejection.

Finally - it’s often a good idea to wait to have a more fulsome conversation until you are both calm. Parents sometimes need a time-out too! Take kids seriously, listen to their opinions and views, while knowing that you don’t always have to agree.