ENCOURAGE RATHER THAN PRAISE

Praise works in the short-term, encouragement in the long term.

Praise has to come from outside - someone noticing what you do, rather than you knowing you have done the hard thing, even if no one is watching.

Encouragement leads to tasks well done with improved self-esteem and inner self-awareness of a job well-done.

Praise is ‘I’m so proud of you’, Encouragement is ‘You must be so proud of yourself’

Praise is ‘I like what you did’, Encouragement is ‘You figured it out for yourself!’

Praise can lead to diminished risk-taking, because children don’t want to make mistakes. Encouragement leads to children choosing more challenging tasks with the child feeling more in control of themselves with an internal sense of being worthwhile and more self-confidence.

Hayley Wickenheiser, the famous gold medal Canadian Women’s Hockey player, now physician, wrote in her book that to be successful, ‘You have to be willing to do the work when no one is watching’. That is where encouragement, as opposed to praise can lead.