FOUR STEPS FOR EFFECTIVE FOLLOW-THROUGH

Well - limits have been set, consequences discussed - what next!

Effective FOLLOW-THROUGH!

A lot of effective follow-through starts with a conversation way ahead of when you need it - at a calm moment, with a view to enlisting co-operation.

Start early with a discussion where everyone is heard and get the kids involved in the solution. Brainstorm the possibilities and then choose one that works for you as a parent - but hopefully for the kids too.

Agree on when the follow-through will happen, and under what conditions.

When necessary - follow through without a lot of talk or upset - just as had been agreed. Accountability for you and the child is important.

What can derail you? 1) Thinking kids have the same priorities as adults - which they don’t always, 2) Getting into judgements and criticisms -just stick to the agreement and the relevant issue, 3) You need to make sure you have the specifics in place before the time you need to follow through and 4) Maintain dignity and respect, despite possible disagreement. Make an agreement - for example to set the table before 6pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Keep your comments simple and precise - ‘say it with a word’ - ‘table’ might be the answer.

If the child objects - ask - ‘what was our agreement?’

When the child concedes - say ‘thank you for keeping our agreement’

Don’t scold, lecture, or punish - use routines and reminders to start. If you have to follow through with a consequence, be prepared - and read those blog posts!