WAYS TO BE A LISTENING PARENT

It is important to remember - ‘less is more’, the next few tools help with listening.

Use ‘what’ and ‘how’ questions. Ask about how your child understood the situation, instead of saying how you saw it.

Make an empathic comment, and then ask them how they feel about whatever happened (eg. forgot their lunchbox at school), what they might do the next time to solve the problem.

‘Why’ questions might be inappropriate. If you are trying to get them to connect with a feeling, you can suggest an idea - it is important to become aware of feelings, but don’t impose. ‘I wonder if you have a tummy ache because you are nervous about the first day of school?”

Use curiosity questions to find out more - get into your child’s world and view by asking questions, being genuinely interested in their perspectives and ideas.

Use reflective listening - but not to the point of being annoying!

If getting annoying, use active listening - listen for the feelings between the words - feelings can usually be described in one word. If they are old enough, ask the child how they felt, what they thought - what did they then decide.