BEING KIND AND FIRM

Some parents struggle with this concept. In an earlier blog post I quoted an example from the book Positive Discipline - Parenting Tools where being kind and firm would be saying ‘I love you AND the answer is no’

Other possibilities are by validating feelings - I know you want to finish watching the movie AND it is time for bed.

By showing understanding - I know you would rather play outside than set the table, AND the table needs to be set first.

Through redirection - 'You don’t want to brush your teeth, AND I don’t wnat to pay the dental bills. I’ll race you to the bathroom.’

By following through on an earlier agreement - I know you don’t want to do your homework now, AND what what our previous agreement?

By providing a choice - You don’t want to clean up your toys, AND it is clean up time. Can I help you pick up the lego?

By validating feelings, giving a choice, and then following through by deciding what you will do - I know you want to stay on your ipad, AND your time is up. You can turn it off and put it away, or I will.

Sometimes you need a bit more energy on the ‘firmness’ side, but don’t add in any blame or shame. Try to keep a warm, neutral demeanour.