FEWER WORDS

Have you heard of the saying ‘Less is More’- while it may not be best for reading books, or saying ‘I love you’ to your kids, it might be best if we want out children to listen when we say things once! It might also be best to help encourage them to be more independent problem-solvers.

Sometimes kids get so used to us saying things over and over, they wait for the umpteenth time to listen. They tune out. Taking time to train them to listen when we say things once is more efficient and less frustrating for everyone.

1) These days with so many ways to spend attention, kids need to tune in to the voices of the adults most important to them - parents, caregivers and teachers. Talk to them about this - that means tuning in - putting down whatever you are doing, and turning to face an adult and make eye contact when your name is called.

2) Be in the same room and get your child’s full attention (and make sure they have your full attention), before you give a direction, so you only have to give it once. If needed get the child to repeat the direction to make sure they ‘got it’ and also to help them to move the direction from their ‘desktop’ to a longer term memory spot.

3) ‘Say it with a Word” - when agreements have been made, together in advance - this enhances following already established routines - ‘shoes’, lunch box, piano time…..they’ll know what you mean. You can also put one word on a post-it note for a teen and leave it somewhere they will see it. Make sure not to use a negative tone, you may need to use your intuition to know when ‘one word’ is the right strategy.

4) Use Silent Signals - smile and point at the boots that need to go on the mat. Decide which signals would work pbest as a reminder to, for example, not bite their nails. Take time for training about how to use the signal at a calm time.

5) Act, don’t talk. As an example, if children are fighting over a toy, quietly take it and put it on a ‘high shelf’, they’ll get the idea (especially if it has been discussed before) that they need to find a better way of sharing than fighting.

6) Don’t say things you don’t mean. That means you, as a parent, have to figure out how to give a matter your full attention from start to finish.