POSITIVE TIME OUT

Sometimes Dr. Lisa calls a ‘Positive Time-Out’ a ‘Time-in'. It should not be seen as a rejection or a punishment. It is a place and an opportunity to feel better, to get calmer, to ‘take a moment’ to think, to problem-solve and then to ‘do better’. Kids need that space, and parents do too. It is not a place to suffer, or feel shame.

It is an opportunity to be encouraging, to be kind and firm - at the same time.

Dr. Lisa’s suggestion is that the Time-Out be ‘just off’ the beaten track of family life. A quiet corner of the living room, kitchen, anywhere where the child is not isolated or alone. It should be inviting - a bean bag - or a nice pillow. Often it is a good idea to put calming toys or activities there, that your child does not play with anywhere else. That ‘time-in’ space should be a place where children like to go - and they can go there - anytime if they want to think, or to ‘take a moment’.

‘Time-ins’ allow the opportunity to ‘take time for training’ - to help children to better learn to self-regulate. Some of the best problem-solving and planning can take place in what can be a very positive and creative place. It can allow children and adults a time to calm down and to move from a reactive place to an intentional place. It’s an opportunity for reset, and a chance to ‘change the channel or the tune’. It is an opportunity to develop skills to self-regulate.

This Positive Discipline parenting tool is the basis for developing self-soothing skills, and kids can be involved in creating the space. Positive time out is best used when your child is already a preschooler.

Remember that a Positive Time-Out is only ONE way to encourage - there are lots of other Positive Discipline Parenting Tools!